she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
it glows. i had to have it.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Vodka?
Forever.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
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