It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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