I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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