Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
