No, you can still breathe under the balls.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
