Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
