Having a random hookup so left but love u
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
