i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
