Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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