fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Randomize
