her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
