I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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