p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
