i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
