smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize