i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
smell my finger.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
