Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize