We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The air was thick with penises
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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