just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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