I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
