can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
