i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
