At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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