12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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