Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize