Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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