maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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