dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
