I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just gift wrapped bread.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
