I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
