I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
