Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
