The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
