Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
