ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
