I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Randomize
