What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Randomize
