it hurts more in the daytime
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
