I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm too high and old for this...
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
