My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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