I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
