Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
