But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
