did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
