so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
