this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
