What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
