Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
