so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize