dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
