So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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