I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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