i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Come on in and take your pants off
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