This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
We're too hungover to prance.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
