Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
