Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
