Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
