at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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