I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
