naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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