it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
We need to feng shui this bitch.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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