Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
