I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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