He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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